Revisions to the 2021 Summary of Benefits document
The below document is page 4 of the Blue Cross Blue Shield 2021 Summary of Benefits. The purpose of the entire document is described as:
“This guide is a summary of the medical and prescription drug benefits covered by Blue Cross Medicare Advantage plans. In this booklet, you will find an overview of our plan and pharmacy network, an easy-to-read chart of plan coverage options, and contact information for customer service representatives who can assist you and answer questions.”
Below you will find the after revisions of page 4, Pre Enrollment Checklist.
The key changes made to Page 4:
- Made it personal to the reader
Ex. The first clause of the first paragraph omitted the word “You”. This isn’t wrong, but doesn’t speak to the reader and doesn’t align with the second clause. - Add active voice
Ex. The first paragraph, second sentence, second clause suggest the reader “can call”. It is more clear to direct the reader by simply saying “call” - Improve headings
The original checklist stated that “it is important that you fully understanding our benefits”. I get that this is ultimately about benefits, but the subject under the heading was network coverage. It is important to let the reader know what is being directly discussed in the section they are reading. - Restructure for clarity
Ex. The instructions originally stated “to view a copy of EOC” after listing the phone number. It would be clearer for the reader to see the location of the EOC, the website, next to the instruction, “visit”.
The most challenging revision was whether or not to restate Medicare Part B. The first instruction under the heading “Understanding Important Rules” says that your monthly plan premium and Medicare Part B premium must be paid. The next sentence, originally, starts with “This premium”. It was unclear to me which premium was “this” referring to. I asked my group chat to read the sentence and half agreed the sentence was unclear. If half of my audience doesn’t understand something I think that warrants restating Medicare Part B in the sentence.
Is my rewrite up to your standards? Let me know what you think in the comments.
